the faded pink headscarf.

this has nothing to do with a faded pink headscarf. it's just something i couldn't write in my justly-fresh post because it didn't match. just like my dark yellow tanktop doesn't match my faded pink headscarf.

so i'm on the lower level of my bar all night tonight, no window to the outside world. and when i surface for air, at 3am, i'm met with a nasty image: fat blobs of rain, falling fast and furiously. it's the first real downpour of the winter. i look down at my 20 dollar "uggs." i look back at the rain. i slump. it'll only be a 10 minute walk home, but i might as well just throw myself in a puddle now.

i suit up, wrap my head in my scarf and venture out, wincing in anticipation.... and... it's actually not so bad. i covered my neck decently, and i'm pretty warm in my coat. i perk up a bit.

a bit too soon.

i quickly discover that the streets are rivers, and not just of water. it's rudge - rain/sludge. half-frozen, half gushing rivers of rudge. i live in a goddam desert, what the hell is this? but, i've walked about 100 feet and my tootsies are still dry in their fuzzy shoes, so i carry on with a little bit of hope.

which is quickly dashed.

trudging up a hill, i start to feel the familiar feel of autumn in toronto - a slight chill under my feet, followed by water seeping into my favourite plaid shoes with the torn sole because i'm too stubborn to admit that it's november and i shouldn't be wearing my favourite plaid shoes anymore. it starts in my big toes; i thank the oddly symmetrical holes in my boots. i think, probably outloud at that time of the morning, "this is alright. i can handle the big toes." but DUH, it doesn't stop there! how could i have fooled myself into thinking that it would?! i can feel the rudge creeping around my heel now, and it soon touches my arches - and just like that! my boots are swimming pools. i'm mad.

icy and squishy, it seems like my tired feet are slowly sinking into the road as i lose the feeling of wearing boots at all. i could've sworn i was walking through the rudge in my stocking feet. i'm a grumpy, huddled, shivering pile of grrrrrr and it seems like an eternity will pass before i make it home.

then this funny thing happened, when the stone in the road looked familiar or something, and then BAM! for a glorious instant - it's late october and i'm running through the rain in the alleyway between Gladstone and Dufferin on my way to the subway to catch a train to Bathurst where i'll go to work at the Listening Centre behind Honest Ed's and i'm in my rain boots with the yellow horses and maybe after work i'll go meet Alex for a coffee at Moonbean or maybe i'll jam with Ryan or maybe Hannah will be free for dinner at Nazareth -

and honestly, i was really happy for just a second, being out in the rain, no feeling in my toes.