the faded pink headscarf.

this has nothing to do with a faded pink headscarf. it's just something i couldn't write in my justly-fresh post because it didn't match. just like my dark yellow tanktop doesn't match my faded pink headscarf.

so i'm on the lower level of my bar all night tonight, no window to the outside world. and when i surface for air, at 3am, i'm met with a nasty image: fat blobs of rain, falling fast and furiously. it's the first real downpour of the winter. i look down at my 20 dollar "uggs." i look back at the rain. i slump. it'll only be a 10 minute walk home, but i might as well just throw myself in a puddle now.

i suit up, wrap my head in my scarf and venture out, wincing in anticipation.... and... it's actually not so bad. i covered my neck decently, and i'm pretty warm in my coat. i perk up a bit.

a bit too soon.

i quickly discover that the streets are rivers, and not just of water. it's rudge - rain/sludge. half-frozen, half gushing rivers of rudge. i live in a goddam desert, what the hell is this? but, i've walked about 100 feet and my tootsies are still dry in their fuzzy shoes, so i carry on with a little bit of hope.

which is quickly dashed.

trudging up a hill, i start to feel the familiar feel of autumn in toronto - a slight chill under my feet, followed by water seeping into my favourite plaid shoes with the torn sole because i'm too stubborn to admit that it's november and i shouldn't be wearing my favourite plaid shoes anymore. it starts in my big toes; i thank the oddly symmetrical holes in my boots. i think, probably outloud at that time of the morning, "this is alright. i can handle the big toes." but DUH, it doesn't stop there! how could i have fooled myself into thinking that it would?! i can feel the rudge creeping around my heel now, and it soon touches my arches - and just like that! my boots are swimming pools. i'm mad.

icy and squishy, it seems like my tired feet are slowly sinking into the road as i lose the feeling of wearing boots at all. i could've sworn i was walking through the rudge in my stocking feet. i'm a grumpy, huddled, shivering pile of grrrrrr and it seems like an eternity will pass before i make it home.

then this funny thing happened, when the stone in the road looked familiar or something, and then BAM! for a glorious instant - it's late october and i'm running through the rain in the alleyway between Gladstone and Dufferin on my way to the subway to catch a train to Bathurst where i'll go to work at the Listening Centre behind Honest Ed's and i'm in my rain boots with the yellow horses and maybe after work i'll go meet Alex for a coffee at Moonbean or maybe i'll jam with Ryan or maybe Hannah will be free for dinner at Nazareth -

and honestly, i was really happy for just a second, being out in the rain, no feeling in my toes.

eeek... (pull collar)...

so i know it's been a billion years since i posted - but i did that thing where you avoid something cause it's a huge task and then it gets bigger so you avoid it more and then it gets bigger so you feel nervous and a bit guilty every time you glance at your internet shortcut called "BlogHome" and then it grows to a task so daunting, so massive, that the anxiety when you just open the computer forces you into such a frantic seizure of "StumbleUpon"-ing that you can't remember why you sat down with the blasted machine in the first place.

yeah, that thing.

so i apologize to my tens of fans; it hath been a long while since addressing thee...s. (what's plural of thee, William?)

but don't get too excited, because this is just going to be a little update. and then i'll immediately write a new post altogether, because i have a different thought. (i'd put them both together but this one is slightly funny and the next one will be slightly poetic and i just can't mix and match like that. it's like wearing my dark yellow tank top with my faded pink headscarf. it's just... no.

dark yellow tank top material:
- i work at a bar now, called Mike's Place, started by a torontonian guy. new location in jerusalem, opened a few months ago, been there since the bottle-smashing. became the head server pretty soon which turned into a sort of low level management position which i don't really want because it makes it harder to quit which i eventually will do because i'm just not into smoking inside (yes i'm a spoiled canadian) and staying up til 5a.m to serve loud americans who came to watch football and who get so excited - "JETS JETS JETS!!!!!" - that they forget to tip on the way past their vomit and out the door. but i do get to make the schedule which is alright albeit time-consuming, and the people are awesome. 2nd-best friends i've made here, for sure. (elisa = #1.)

- i have a cat. he seduced me from the street and now he lives in my house with Leon the Dog. Leon doesn't mind really, even though Bulgar's favourite toy is Leon's tail. yes, the cat is named after a wheat product. can't explain how it happened.

- i'm in the throes of passionately writing the body of work known as my file, which is my music therapy thesis-y thing about my work at Sick Kids, for submission to the canadian professional music therapy association so i can become an accredited music therapy rock star in canada. applicable for when i come back. although, wouldn't hurt looking for music therapy jobs here, with those little letters beside my name that no one will understand - but there's a chance they'll be impressed when they ask for clarification.

- mmmmm, that's pretty much everything. OH! i went to cairo for a few days, and met up with Brother Dan who was there on business. if you're reading this blog, you might've already seen some photos on facebook. crazy times, ya'alla. (<--- "wow")

- i made an awesome vegan pecan fudge pie.

- mmmmm, now that's pretty much everything. i'm sure more will pop up soon.

most of you are covered in snow, from the head to the toe. which brings me to the pink headscarf material... which of course is in the next post, because otherwise it would be like putting thai peanut sauce AND sweet chili sauce in your stir-fry... and you can all probably guess how i'd feel about that.